Susie

I was 8. My mom didn't tell me what my appointment was for because she was scared I would worry myself to the point of actual sickness. And I don't blame her for that. I had 2 in one day. The first one, I screamed and cried. I begged them to stop and they didn't. I was held down. The second one, I was so traumatized that I just laid there quietly crying. I knew they wouldn't stop. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I can barely have a physical relationship because of it. I had a baby and when I was going under for my cesarean section, I was held down by four people to have my catheter put in. One on each arm and leg. And I'll never forgive them for that, especially since they knew my history. I feel like I'll never be able to get past it. It's there in the back of my mind all the time. I see and feel it when I'm asleep. It never stops.