Caley

I was 9 years old when I had the VCUG done. I suffered from chronic UTIs throughout most of my childhood, was a bed wetter and had a fear of washrooms that caused other issues as well from as early on as I can remember. I don't remember much about the procedure, but the details I do remember upset me more and more each day, I am 21 now. I was 9 when it was done which means that I was old enough to understand absolutely everything that was going on. I remember my mother explaining exactly what would happen, I remember telling her I did not want to do it. I remember marking the day of the procedure down on my calendar as "the worst day of my life" - over a decade later and I won't argue with my 9 year old self on that one. I remember the pain. I remember the embarrassment and shame of not being able to tell anyone. I remember being assaulted at home and that being the reason why I was having all the troubles I was in the first place. I remember lying still and doing what I was told even though I was scared and crying on a cold table with my pants down in front of a bunch of strangers and them hurting me. But most importantly I remember saying I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT. It was not just done without my consent, but against it. But I was a child and my feelings didn't matter to them.