ANONYMOUS
An Unsilenced Survivor Story
"As I felt my bladder fill, and fill, and fill I started to cry. There were four people at the foot of the bed just looking at my privates waiting for me to urinate. It was humiliating. Eventually my bladder was so full I felt like I was going to burst, I was screaming in pain and at this point they command my mom to leave the room."
When I was a newborn I had my first VCUG. My second one when I was 2. My third when I was 15. I don’t remember my first or second. I am grateful for my second, in which they sedated me. My third on the other hand, I was fully awake. I remember going in thinking “I hate getting these done” when I didn’t even remember the procedure I was just so scared and so anxious and I KNEW I hated it.
I walked in and there was a nurse and a radiologist in the room. I was told to strip into just a gown. I already felt so exposed. They had me lay on a table and spread my legs. The only way I could explain it, is I felt like I was being raped again. They told me they were going to insert a small catheter. It didn’t hurt it was just uncomfortable.
As I felt my bladder fill, and fill, and fill I started to cry. There were four people at the foot of the bed just looking at my privates waiting for me to urinate. It was humiliating. Eventually my bladder was so full I felt like I was going to burst, I was screaming in pain and at this point they command my mom to leave the room. They start pouring warm water on my privates to help me pee.
I finally go, they take the pictures. And as I’m laying there hyperventilating with mascara running down my face my mom in the hallway they say “see that wasn’t so bad was it?”