Linda Waste

I had at least one VCUG in 1975. I may have had more than one but this is the one I still remember vividly. I remember it was so cold in the room, I was in a hospital gown, scared, cold, alone. I know I was held down. I know my legs were held open. Forced open. I remember crying. I held my eyes shut tight trying to erase what was happening to me by not watching. There were 4 or 5 people in the room. When it came time to urinate, one of them, a man laughed. I was ashamed. For most of my life I’ve been asked by therapists if I’d ever been sexually abused because I clearly have displayed signs of sexual trauma. I’d always say no. But then I found this group and read your stores and it finally all made sense. I’ve never talked to my mom about this or anyone else. I vividly remember it but didn’t realize this was possible the cause of much of my mental health issues and issues with intimacy. I recoil at certain forms of touching during sex and will completely shut down. I have thought I was “frigid”. I have suffered from eating disorders and addiction. Until I found this group, I had not made any connection to this procedure from my childhood. I suffer debilitating UTIs regularly to this day.