Anonymous

I had no idea other people have similar experiences with this procedure as me. I never even knew what the test was called until not long ago when I saw a video talking about it. I only remember how shameful and exposed I felt in that room. I remember when I was somewhere around the age of 7 or so my parents told me I was going to the doctors but we lived in a rural area so it was a pretty long drive to the big city hospital that did the test. But they told me we could go to the movies and get candy after so I was excited. That quickly changed. I remember being in a hospital gown a lady was showing me a teddy bear that was wearing the same gown, she was showing me on the bear what was going to happen to me. She tapped a tube to the genital area of the bear and told me I would have to hold my pee and long as I could. I remember feeling scared at this point. Then I was taken to a different room where there was big machine and a small table were they had me lay and spread my legs in the butterfly position. I remember feeling so shameful and dirty to be lying there like that. Once the catheter was in I felt like I had to pee so I told them I couldn’t hold it anymore but they said no it’s not full see if you can hold it longer. I remember being so angry after the procedure when I was back in the car with my parents, I even remember writing in my notebook that I hate doctors and I hate hospitals. I never told my mom any of my emotions around this procedure and still haven’t. I didn’t know I was allowed to be upset about what happened to me.